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Breaking Down FOMO: Missing Out

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Breaking Down FOMO: Fear of Missing Out

Hoping to be present when there’s something important going on can be naturally expected from human beings.

The term ‘important’ also implies fun, exciting, joyful. This Hope is an innocent trait that doesn’t require too much of a deeper dig to explain it. It motions that we humans seek positive experiences with with each other.

 

But concern arises when the hope is accompanied by bouts of desire, fear and convincing tales which prove that your worthiness is determined by your social circles and the shenanigans you have together.

The latter is so common, that it has a fancy term for it, Fear Of Missing Out!

A little bit of FOMO has always existed in us, from the times of the newspaper and radio to our age of sophisticated gadgets. It’s considered to be an epidemic today, where one constantly keeps themselves updated with the occurances of the world, keep watchful tabs over people they barely know and to pick up the phone every few minutes to make sure that they aren’t missing out on the opportunity for a potential connection with someone online.

This frantic effort to keep oneself in touch with everything that’s going on stems from the clubbing of two kinds of anxiety- social anxiety and survival instincts. 

Humans are social beings and one of our biggest drives is to find belongingness. Lonliness and isolation directly links to the feeling of being unable to deal with a probable threat. This is because the rate of survival of a group has proven to be higher than the survival rates of individuals in solitude in evolutionary prospects.

One of the biggest factors creating a baseline for FOMO in adulthood is emotional neglect during the childhood.

Those who experience neglectful parenting styles are posed with high demands and low emotional warmth and report to have the highest amount of FOMO.

Children are left with a feeling of isolation and inadequacy when parents provide minimal amounts of time and attention to their care. They need to feel loved, acknowledged and secure in order to be able to build a strong sense of identity.

 

The assurance that their presence matters is extremely important for the child to develop confidence and esteem. And this in turn, helps them feel important in social settings.

Any compromise with early care can leave the child with doubts and distorted perceptions of the self. Observing their peers and comparison of parent-child dynamics can create an overwhelming sense of longingness for attention.

Most children turn to external settings in order to make up for the scarcity of parental affection.

The need to be present at every possible social event stems from the fear of losing an opportunity to make a potential connection. Not being invited to a particular occasion stirs up feelings of betrayal, incompetence and loss.

The easy accessibility of social media adds on to the baggage with people’s tendency to document their activities online, which leads to more cycles of comparison and suffering.

 

Parents need to be mindful of their interactions with their children and should adopt an authoritative style which includes high warmth and assertive to curb the social anxiety and regulate the by products of  the use of social media.

Pandemic Fatigue

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Pandemic fatigue

We are locked in our own country, own houses by not any person but a virus. A deadly, undiscriminating, living and growing beastful virus. People all around the world are collectively still fighting against the battle with this. This pandemic has taken away people’s homes, lives, health and mental peace away from them. It is getting hard for each and every one of us to maintain our mental health in these times. So How to deal with pandemic fatigue?

Some are still wandering without considering the seriousness of the disease around them. Because it is true that unless you are under a rock, you are unlikely to know about someone else’s life. There’s not only people dealing with pandemic, but they are also dealing with anxiety disorders, sleep problems, indigestion problems, cardiovascular issues, depression, and day by day degrading mental health. The level at which it has moved our economy and health structure is a “no need to discuss” topic. 

People besides personal problems, are getting victims of homicide, domestic violence, sexual harassment, emotional, menatal and domestic abuse. The thing which even if they want to, can’t come out of. Leaving our humanity and emotions killing themselves slowly, people are still hoping that they will get out of this. One or another day they will.

Facing the steepest virus climb and fallout yet, people are stressed, preoccupied and exhausted. Many of us are facing the vulnerabilities to anxiety or depression that continue to be triggered by some or other events of daily life. The people who didn’t have such histories are struggling emotionally in their own ways, and those who were already struggling are trying harder just to get out of one day.

When the tunnel is darkest, there is light ahead near to it. 

Pandemic fatigue, fear, sadness, all these emotions are legitimate, no matter what lens one views it through.  This virus is dreadful and painful to all people, whether that person is in survival mode fortunate to have health, financial means and safe shelter at the other, or at the other side of being economically, socially and mentally devastated.

If it continues to be as we are told. Then we all deserve to feel down sad and tired right now. But we can not stop our momentum, our progress and our fight.  No matter who we are or what our story is, we are all in this together, and we are the only ones who will get us out of this, together.

What I wish I knew about pregnancy

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What I wish I knew about pregnancy

Let’s talk real here, ladies: It isn’t all sunshine, rainbows, and unicorn-emblazoned onesies when you first find out you’re pregnant. With overwhelming strange physical side effects you start experiencing some seriously weird, conflicting emotions that follow… sadly for a long time. And contrary to how anyone makes you feel about it, it’s perfectly okay and natural.

Having a baby changes lots of things, almost everything and it’s very common to worry about the future. There are constant worries about coping with giving birth, wellness and health of the baby, being a good mother, relationship changes with a partner, managing finances, work or education after the baby, having a life of your own, previous pregnancy problems, if any, habits that will harm the baby.

Some things you might wanna know about:

  • There is a strange phenomenon ,known as ‘Couvade Syndrome or ‘Sympathetic Pregnancy’’, in which some men experience weight gain, nausea and swelling in tandem with their pregnant partners. It is cute, yes but it takes the phrase ‘I understand what you’re going through’ to another level.
  • The baby starts crying silently in the womb itself as early as 28 weeks long before birth as a form of practice communication, rather than a reaction to feelings.
  • There exists a disorder during pregnancy, known as Pica, where pregnant women crave for some bizzare non-food items like soap, chalk, paper & stones, instead of pickles, sardines and grapefruit.
  • You might be afraid constantly, not only because societal pressure can sometimes make women feel guilty if they feel anything, but hormones rush and switch rapidly during pregnancy.
  • Women who find themselves pregnant shortly after a loss, the emotions can be extra complicated. They might feel a little lost and too worried about the upcoming life in the world.
  • Women feel impatient and restless resulting from some cramping and possibly morning sickness. But not always, not always one feels pregnant when you first find out you’re expecting and that makes a mother-to-be a little impatient for the “fun” things like telling friends, going to the doctor, and having a cute little bump.
  • Overly driven mom-to-be might google almost each and everything before doing anything or after experiencing anything new
  • During pregnancy and beyond, women may find themself struggling to remember details, focus on tasks, or give their undivided attention to just about anything. This is casually referred to as “pregnancy brain” or “mommy brain” that may begin as early as the first trimester of pregnancy, whilst experiencing the first major surge of hormones.

Whether the pregnancy was planned or unplanned, it’s natural to have mixed emotions, constant exhaustion, nausea, and other problems about it. You may swing from excited to worried, or happy to sad and back again. Pregnancy hormones such as oestrogen and progesterone can contribute to giving you this mix of emotional highs and lows, especially in the first three months. Some things are talked about whereas some are, but that doesn’t make anything unacceptable or bad. Enjoy your pregnancy and take care of yourself.

Trauma Tragedy

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Trauma Tragedy

Trauma is not something that merely exists in our head, it’s a real thing which can make a person stuck physically and mentally. One cannot say to move on from trauma, it’s not some scratch that we got by falling on the road while playing as a child.  

Trauma is something that leaves an impact on a person’s mind and his reaction to every situation. It fills the person with constant fear and anxiety. It affects our affective, somatic, sensory, and motor nodes of mental processing. Trauma sensitizes the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal (HPA) axis, the body’s central stress response system. It acts as the junction of our central nervous system and endocrine system, which makes us more reactive to stress and increases the stress hormone, cortisol crucially which can be toxic leading to health conditions such as depression or heart disease. Studies show that post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is linked to greater activity in brain areas that process fear and less activation in parts of the prefrontal cortex. 

Trauma can push someone in a pit from where it’s not easy to come up without someone else throwing a rope and pulling a person. This pitfall has lots of Inhibitors(symptoms) like exhaustion, numbness, confusion, sadness, anxiety, agitation, dissociation, and physiological arousal.  People with trauma are more prone to panic attacks, worrying, and stress as they rethink and revisit the time subconsciously which gives them trauma. The more the stress, the more tense and constricted muscles are, which makes a person exhausted and ineffectual.  

Everyone reacts to their trauma and situation differently. There’s no right or wrong response. If a person is reacting in a very unexpected manner that doesn’t mean he or she faked the trauma. Response is not always exhibited by panicking only.  The effects of trauma on the body can be subtle yet dangerous, dealing with physical and emotional pain can make it hard to cope and lead to developing unhealthy coping mechanisms like smoking, drinking, or doing drugs.  These may increase the numbness of emotions and prolong the trauma’s impact on our body and mind.

The person who has been through any traumatic event or incident may develop trust issues with time. They suspect people of hurting them and start distancing them by building a wall to protect themselves. The perception of them towards the world and people changes. They sense or overestimate danger, fear and threat all around themselves.  They see themselves as weak in front of other people and blame themselves for the trauma that happened to them due to their inability to stop it even when they could. 

Through trauma therapy and time their beliefs tend to shift to feel dangerous all time to sometimes  and.sometimes safe.  Therapists dealing with traumas are extra sensitive towards their patients. They focus on not changing what happened to them but on changing their belief patients hold about themselves and the world. There are lots of comebacks of memories, flashbacks, revisiting of memories, nightmares, panic attacks but it gets better with time and therapy. Trauma is not for lifetime !

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